Author: Dag Yo

Dear reader, I noticed some of you aren't so sure about evolution,
some of you are completely wrong about how it works, and others just
plain don't believe it. You guys are all wrong, and I'm writing this
so you'll know why.

Evolutions means: "change over time".  All living things change over
time, you don't look like your parents right?  Therefore you evolved.
Case freakin' closed.
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Now that you believe in evolution, i'd gonna tell you how the Theory
of Evolution (rather than the definition of evolution) explains how
many different kinds of animals there are in the world.  And I'll do
that by telling you some facts you can't even argue with:

Fact 1: Living things have traits - you've got a particular face, and
size, and body parts and all that.

Fact 2: Those traits evolve - your kids will have some of your traits
but they'll be a bit different.

Fact 3: Sometimes bad traits evolve - like no immune system or
something.

Fact 4: Those bad traits can get ya killed - If you don't have an
immune system, you might catch a flu and die.

Fact 5: Bad traits can keep you from passing on your traits at all -
if crappy traits get you killed before you have kids then your kids
won't have those traits.

And thats how the Theory of Evolution works; everything keeps changing
into other stuff slowly and randomly*.  And whenever something is born
with bad traits, it doesn't get to pass those traits on any more.
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Now that you know the Theory of Evolution and believe it [and you do
believe it dammit], you might still have some questions about how it
all works.  Maybe you'd like to know where those traits come from, or
how they get passed on, or why there isn't only one kind of animal or
maybe why scientists say we're related to monkeys.  If these are
questions that interest you, even though you already know the Theory
of Evolution, then don't just whine about it while pretending the
Theory of Evolution is wrong (you know damn well it's true because you
learned how it works), then use this opportunity to go out and learn
something and not be such a dumbass.  The following link is a good
place to start:

http://www.talkorigins.org/origins/faqs-mustread.html

Cheers, Dag Yo

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*merely an analogy.  in actually the mechanisms that determine this part of the evolutionary process work in strikingly specific ways.